How to Enjoy What's Left of Your Days More: Four (4) Ways You Can Live Life to the Fullest
Live in the moment...
So often we live for the future, or in the past and perhaps rightfully so, but sometimes we have to live in the here and now - the present - and experience life right now. Tomorrow is not guaranteed.
Bill Keane said it best. "Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present."
How to Enjoy What's Left of Your Days More: Four (4) Ways You Can Live Life to the Fullest
Voices—they’re everywhere. And since we now wear earphones and smartphones - they're in our heads. As soon as I wake up, I can feel the stress of keeping up with their demands on my time. As soon as I look at my smartphone, and/ or tablet I am inundated nay overwhelmed with all the notifications, news, emails and messages “needing” attention. They seem to pull me in every direction, turn me every which way but loose and keep me dodging here and there, killing my time management, quality time and not to mention attempting to keep up with all the differing opinions, attitudes, unnecessary tasks, and media.
The sound of the voices seems to echo over and over throughout every part of our lives in this modern age of information overload. Calling to us from our Snapchat or Whatapp notifications, our workplace newsletters, and our former classmates', friends and family reunions. Wherever we go, distractions and other people’s opinions, wishes, manipulations and attitudes shout for our attention.
We desperately try to keep up with the influx of media, news, duties, responsibilities, and social events, but we often find ourselves too worn out to really enjoy any of the aspects of our lives in relation to ourselves versus having someone else come before oneself. Everything seems. mundane, bland, blatant and dull, like an endless mill of things to do and ponder that we aimlessly run to keep up with, much like a hamster on a wheel.
So how can we truly relish the fullness of life?
1. Say “no” to unnecessary extra curricular activities and business.
It’s hard for us to really experience and enjoy life when we are so busy running from place to place taking care of extra work projects or someone else’s duties and responsibilities. We hardly even have time to realize what we are doing much less to fully live in each moment. Take or declare a break from you routine.
Instead, we brush the surface of precious moments that we pass through instead of diving in and immersing ourselves in the embrace of a partner, the warmth of the sunshine, the smell of roses and the taste of home-baked cookies. We simply don’t have time to experience the essence of what makes life good when we say “yes” to unnecessary extra curricular activities, duties and responsibilities.
Part of the problem is that we simply have far too much to do. We need to learn to say “no” sometimes to the extra burdens our work, projects, friends, or even family members beg us to take care of.
Don’t say “yes” to an added responsibility when you already feel too busy. Sure, your friend might be disappointed, but if he is really your friend, he will eventually understand that his/ her problems aren’t yours to solve and eventually get over it. Learn to politely but firmly decline from taking on too many tasks, projects, duties and responsibilities .
As a recovering perfectionist, whose trying to get over the wholr recovery mkvement, I have a hard time saying “no” to activities, tasks, durties and responsibilities, I know I could do well. This past year I’ve had to learn that I can’t do everything for everyone. One can't be a purple pleasure. So I've learned to please myself and say "no."
I’m getting married in the summer, work and beginning graduate school, so I have a lot on my plate. But, when people ask me if I could have my band play or have myself play my violin, guitar or piano for their wedding, gathering or church service, I have had to weigh which events are priority and which ones I simply don’t have time for. For instance, saying “yes” to helping with a close friend’s surprise wedding this winter versus getting paid to play my violin or have my band play at a stranger’s wedding.
I’ve even had to decide which professional or social events I really have the time, energy, and desire to go to versus the ones that sound too stressful or that simply don’t fit into my schedule versus assigning or delegating a designee to officiate. In short, I have had to learn to say “no” to unnecessary activities, duties and responsibilities even if my decision might disappoint someone. Only by avoiding extra busyness have I begun to truly experience and live in each moment. Life is about living in the moment, being mindful in the moment.
2. Minimize your exposure to media.
Media is everywhere around us in today’s society. From television to smartphones. Phablets to iPads, we are constantly flooded with media. In fact, we often get so distracted by media that we feel like we have to check Instagram, facebook and/ or twitter every five minutes and we have to watch the news every morning and we have to post one more tweet on Twitter, post status or comment on facebook.
The media over saturation can cause us to be distracted from our work, friends, family, and hobbies. Just recently, I noticed that even though I see my fiancé only on weekends I was scrolling through facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Instagram more than I actually conversed with him directly. I was too busy taking creative pictures and reviewing the likes and comments on my posts etc. If we talked it was either with some one else or via socialmedia.
Every time I had a free moment, I would feel the urge to check my phone. In fact, I would sometimes find myself sitting next to my fiancé on the couch, blankly scrolling through facebook, Twitter, Instagram instead of engaging in real, deep conversations. As a result, I uninstalled, facebook and Instagram etc.
Almost instantly, I noticed a change. I didn’t feel like I had to check my phone all the time. I felt more attached to my partner and looked forward to spending time talking with her. I was less superficial and less worried about how I looked.
Furthermore, I became interested in my old hobbies like drawing, painting pictures, writing poetry and reading, now that I was less distracted with social media. I miraculously looked forward to work and what I could accomplish each day. Clearly, we need to avoid becoming distracted by media, so we can more fully experience life, in the moment.
3. Take time to do the things you love.
Many times, we think that as adults, we should outgrow hobbies and live in the routine of work and household duties and responsibilities. While adult life does include many more necessary duties, and responsibilities we should not let our daily tasks keep us from occasionally taking time out to do the things we love. Take or declare a brake to do those things.
Remember what you used to do in your free time? Take a minute to read a chapter of your favorite book, to go birding at your local park, draw a picture or ride your bicycle downtown. Sure, you might not be able to do it very often, but don’t let the business of life keep you from doing the things that bring that extra sparkle of life to your eyes. Just because you’re a busy adult doesn’t mean you should never have a little fun or relish doing something just for the enjoyment of it.
For me, that meant sitting down to write this article or paint a picture. Or, going to take a walk to the library and finding a couple of good books to read. Or, writing a few quirky poems to add to my poetry collection. Without realizing it, I had allowed myself to be so busy that I had stopped doing the things that I loved, and I just kept chasing after the things I had to do without ever coming to the end of them.
There will always be more necessary activities to do in life. But, your hobbies are part of what make you uniquely “you.” Learn to take time to cherish those activities and to experience the joy they give you. The constant grind of work and home duties can grind a person’s spirit into the dust. But, pausing to do something you love can help bring spontaneity, sparkle, vibrancy and vitality back int your life.
4. Be authentic to yourself, your belief systems, philosophies, virtues and values, even if it goes against popular beliefs, philosophies or the opinions of those close to you or other strangers.
It is said that we present ourselves in various ways, there's the private self - the skeletons in the closet or deep dark secrets that we keep to ourselves, the self on stage or the public self that we show the general public and the backstage self that only we and our closest friends and family, know about. The idea within all of this is to be yourself and be consistent as we perform our various duties, its roles and responsibilities.
In Greek legend, the Sphinx devoured all travelers who could not answer the riddle it posed: "What is the creature that walks on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and three in the evening?" The hero Oedipus gave the answer, "Man," causing the Sphinx's death.
(from As You Like It)
"All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav’d, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."
Letting other people’s opinions and desires control our lives can squelch our creativity and joy in life. Constantly worrying about what other people think is draining and keeps us from experiencing life fully and genuinely. We are always uneasy when we are pretending to be what we are not, and we are always dissatisfied when we are living in a way we would not live unless society told us we should live that way.
I was lucky to grow up in a wonderful, loving home that nurtured and grew me, eventhough parents left me behind and moved to another country. Diversity made me a stronger, more self-reliant and self-sufficient person. However, when I started college, I realized that I needed a self-indentity of mine own choosing, I was socialized, I had absorbed so much of what my family, friends, priest, community, and society believed that I needed to figure out what I really felt, thought and what philosophies I chose to subscribe to to see if it was the same.
I had to sort through what I did because I’d always done it that way and what I did because I believed it should be done that way. I had to discover what I felt about social issues because I’d absorbed what society taught me and what I felt about injustices because that’s what I’d discovered to be true.
I had to decide whether it was more authentic for me to continue my career as an artist or musician for example because I’d played violin since I was a toddler, or if my talents and life experience led me to explore a different field of study like psychology, writing and library or information science.
The people around me didn’t all support my career changes. Some even challenged me because they thought it was a waste of talent and time... that I was “too smart” to be a librarian or psychologist. At times like this, I’ve had to consider my choices and decide to stand up for myself, and assert myself even if others didn’t agree with me. Especially, if they told me I couldn't do it, just to prove I could.
Other times, I’ve had to reconsider my choices and beliefs again and have discovered new, even more fulfilling truths. In either case, I’m learning to be genuine and make decisions that I believe support my convictions and who I am, instead of living to please other people.
Living life genuinely gives us the freedom to be real and authentic. We can make decisions logically and emotionally from the virtues and values that we hold to be true, and thus we can be fully content with our decisions.
We do not need to pretend in order to make more friends or please our family and friends. If our friends truly love who we really are, they will accept us and all our idiosyncrasies without us having to put on a façade or be phony.
In the same way, we need to put up perimeters or boundaries with our families and friends, disconnect ourselves a healthy distance from family and friend dictums, so that we can discover for ourselves what we really believe, how we really want to live, and what we really want to accomplish in life.
We need to learn to make decisions because we think they are right, not because that’s how everyone else does it, because that is what is acceptable to society, or because that is how our families or friends did things. Only when we can stay authentic to our own values and beliefs can we truly feel satisfied and live life to the fullest.
With so many distractions and opinions surrounding us every day, it can be difficult to be fully present and truly experience each moment of our lives. But, if we say “no” to extra duties and responsibilities, if we reduce our time distracted by media, if we take time to do the things we love, and if we stay true to our own values and beliefs, we will find ourselves enjoying more of our days.
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